i wanna feel passion, i wanna feel pain...

woke up to "chasing amy" playing in the other room... made it outta bed in time to hear the SCENE... if ya'll have seen the movie, it's the dreaded "more than just friends" speech... and if you haven't seen the movie, you will not realize the weight that the particular scene carried. ironically enough, lani and i were JUST talkin about the movie yesterday... so it's nice that it was on ... the dialogue always warmed my heart...(call me corny, but i shall retort to a muthafuckas face if need be).

last night, la, c-lo, bex and i went to go play pool... it was ok. we didn't get there till about a little after midnight... people hate first impressions, myself included... i feel as if i did everything in my power though to make the situation more comfortable... but understandably it was 3 old friends vs. 1... i THOUGHT that would make it easier to reinforce it being a strictly friendly thing, just so she could meet more peoples ya know ..but whaddever... but spent dollars regardless...

speaking of which, i am now officially broke... when i got my heavily anticipated check on friday, alas it was less than a benjamin. gawdamn! ... actually, i think it's gone already... guess it's time to start selling some of my CDs back and some of my movies just to make shit up for it ...or i could sell more pieces ...time to put my stuff on e-bay again i guess... back to the old cutting board... but then again ..i DID say it's going to be an arts and crafts x-mas...just gotta make the time.

while we are on the time tip...i do believe that there is always a reason and a time and a place for everything..kinda like fate, but in a less romanticized fashion... i was at work on wednesday ...and a VERY interesting job op came up ... one of those, right place-right time, type of things... this woman was buying something for her boyfriend (that was pretty much the only part that sucked), and i was just doing my regular ferch-thing...but she was diggin me..(well, my attitude and personality that is)... and she wanted me for a pretty good op... more on that later tho ...don't wanna get into TOO many specifics and jinx my ass.

dope ass "come close" (by common) remix on dublab right now with q-tip, pharrel, and erykah...dope shit ad i've never heard this before...it's making me not type and just listen to the damn song... (nice lil tribute to bonita applebum in the song)... mixed in with ...bjork? ...yowza ..trip out.

as usual..there was more i wanted to say ...but alas ..i am at a loss for words

we come from a land down under...

strangest dream last night i swear. i dreamt i was in austrailia for some odd reason. i was visiting some friends down there (which i'm pretty sure i don't have any, maybe except for nemo...haha). but what was weird was i went with someone that i consider pretty close to me, you know those strictly platonic ones... but it was weird in the dream, it wasn't like that at all ..it wasn't like we were together ..but it was like we did the whole hold hands thing ...and cuddle type of shit ...but if felt nice (as nice as it could feel in a dream i suppose) it wasn't up until when i was tryin to read something in my dream that i was sure said something else. but when i came back to it, it was completely different... that's when i knew i was dreaming (as if being in australia didn't tell me otherwise)... and i snapped outta my dream ...back to the platonic world..

dr.seuss... awe-inspiring, mike myers... playful.
dr.seuss+mike myers= AWFUL...
yeah i was pretty damn dissappointed...and i went in THINKIN it was gonna SUCK ...and it STILL sucked...damn.... now i like the two seperately...but together was horrible ..blame it on a bad script or blame it on really really bad jokes ... it had it's moments ...but i wouldn't show this movie to kids at all....acid-heads only...

here in my car, i feel safe as can be...

oh how that statement holds so true.... woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning... had to get out of the house... a little chill break if you will. so i took my usual sunday morning drive.

in your car, no one can see you (well, yeah they can...but normally you don't give a shit).

99 problems but...

well, gawddamn! ... i knew as soon as i woke up i shoulda just went back to bed yesterday ...nuttin BUT problems ...with a few shinin moments inbetween that made the problems just feel like pre-karma that needed to be served before i get the dessert... (did that make ANY sense?...fukk it i hope so).

lemme start with the first bad thing/good thing... on my way to work i decided to get some jack in the crack (rather than turnin back for my smokes...pat on the back)... and the line was FOREVER ...but the point is there was a lady three cars behind the window honkin and hollerin ..."WHAT THE HELLLL!!?!" ...she even got out of her car ...stomped all the way to the drive up window ... blabbed some ish at the poor people at the window, and then took forever just to get back to her car... (SHE ended up holdin the line for some bit..ironic). after that i was like ...man ..some people... that was the bad thing... the good thing was after that i took the exit just to run into traffic (granted the traffic wasn't the good thing). the cause of the traffic was a roll over accident with a black gmc suv... JUST happened because all kinds of people were pulled over on the sideS of the road... off hand i counted maybe 6 cars including 2 crotch rocket cats trying to help the person out... the biker boyZ were like "try and turn off the car! her wheels are still turnin!" ...three people were trying to help the lady walk it off... the old filipina looked all shook up, whis is TRULY understandable... shit like that restores my faith in the goodness of people.

then the inbetween karma stuff... there was work... then met up with lani, apple, c-lo, and big mike at the bucks... oh yeah..dooney too..damn that dog is as cute as a button, (and that reference was not the MANLYest thing in the world)...then apple, c-lo and i went to bento where they took forever with the check... but they're normally good...lot of new workers...then c-lo and i met up with lani to go check out some malls for books...then we went home to get ready for lani's lil b-day celebration at star bar... now here is where it gets bad again..

so we are at the light at 6th and broadway (right across from 'on broadway') and when the light turns green... my baby wouldn't go!!! we i'm here tryin to shift this car for two or more light durations... and then i'm like fuck it ...we push it to 5th and there was a parking garage there ...but we couldn't make it up the hill ...it did kick in gear again...so we tried to take it in the lot ...but the doOD made us stop and pay the ticket for parkin ...THEN THE CAR GOT OUTTA GEAR AGAIN! ...so we had to PUSH it up to the SECOND floor ...thank God some doOD came and helped us too... so there's the "faith in the goodness..." thing again .... so all the way to star bar i couldn't help but think about the car ...rackin my brain ...but i was like ..well, AAA is 24 hours ..so imma call when i get drunk ...if i'm gettin towed anyway, might as well get tossed... so we went to star bar ...and met these pretty rad chicks ... but that's another story...let's just say good karma was spread throughout.... aight ya'll...let's both (the reader and the writer) celebrate getting to the end of the longest blog ever from me. woo hoo!!! ..pass me a drink.

do you remember the time...

oh mike...what have you gotten yourself into now...talented bastard, but a sick fuck...BUT THEN AGAIN ...innocent until proven guilty right? ...well, not in this media scrutinzed world... gots to PROVE your innocence ...maybe they should change the saying to that instead...

oh lil kim... what would biggie say if he saw you doing old navy commercials?...

all these blogs, xangas, and live jounals have turned into a strange voyeuristic fetish form most... but do people get scared when they know people read it? ...do they become more reserved and concerned with what they say? and what if people link through other links who linkn through other links ...absolutely perfect strangers reading this crazy shit ..fuck it ...imma try and bring the unadulterated, brutally funky ass honesty beyyyyyoch...haha ...

oh bla di oh bla da...

down by the pad, we have (lemme correct myself, HAD) a drive-in. they tore it down not too long ago... maybe a month or so. but i always got some comfort in seeing it on a drive back home. it's weird that it really, really only hit me today .."that sucks ass"

also another part of my usual drive home is gone. there was a lone horse that was surrounded by a simple metal bar barrier. on the way to school, i'd always look at him/her, and wondered if it was ever lonely... or did it not care because it never knew what it was like to NOT be alone. but when i drove by today, the sun had just set and it was right in the middle of dusk. i turned to see if the horse was there... but all i saw was ballons at first. i tried to get a closer glance as i passed, but i didn't see the horse. i wondered how long has she/he been gone. i guessed not too long; the mylar balloons were still flying, but the helium ones were almost a bad metaphor for a dead horse.... but that'd be too obvious

i FINALLY get the damn MILKSHAKE reference ...maybe if i had more of a pig mentality, i woulda got it faster... but regardless ...it just makes the song THAT much better... if i am coming off as sarcastic... partially, but FORRILS ...i dig the song.

got over a major speed bump that was in my way as far as school was concerned ...sometimes you just gotta swallow your pride.

i've said it once before but it bears repeating...

aside it being a lyric in a song i'm listening to at this very second, today's title has no real reference as to what's to follow right now. (but it is a pretty funky ass cover... "fell in love with a boy"- Joss Stone)

it's random catch up time!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY B-DAY to LANI! ...my beautiful, feminist, sista... kiss them benefits goodbye miss.

speaking of lani... me and her were at paul's house and the other night, smoking on his porch (that's a funny lookin word). Then i had mentioned that i could feel my bones getting old. DAMN ...i wish i remember this bitch verbatim ...but alas i do not...but mentioned getting older and ...FUCK!!! ...damn i knew i shoulda logged this earlier ... but something like ...we're getting old, but we don't realize that we've lived a good life until we are 60 .... but then i responded with, "well, then why not LIFE the good life TILL 60 ...well, and maybe more..instead of TRYING to live a good one." ...well, SOMETHING like that...

so i have succumbed, and am now on myspace.com. damn ...find me, because you know i'm too damn lazy to try and find people sometimes.... 'nuff said.

on track to transfer... finally ....just gotta get a lil speed bump outta the way

doing more stencils again.... and they are some of my best shit.

and now ...it seems like i'm just running outta words...so adieu.

my aim is true...

yesterday, i asked la if we were past crying to each other. not necessarily are we OVER it ...but has it gone past the point that we can't anymore. her response was something to the extent of, well, we pretty much already know the answers we'll get if we go to each other. if she came up to me with some problem ...she'd know what i'd say. if i came up to her ...likewise.
is it a good thing when you already know someone's answer? sure it is, in some ways. it shows that you know a person well enough that you know how'd they'd react to your inquiry. because sometimes you always bombard them with the same problems and the same shit. (not that it really is shit). but sometimes don't we just want a little affirmation?
it's nice to get someone behind you, and support your decisions... but check this out. if you already know what your friends are going to say, then i suppose you go to the friends who are going to give you the answers you want...
but back to affirmation. i think the big thing about affirmation is ...that you know that someone else either feels the same ...or can relate ...either way ..it helps you feel that you are not alone.

what's that you say?

damn those times where you think of something cooler to say AFTER the fact...
you think, and think, and think some more... with no regard to the fact that you can't do shit anymore anyway. that's where you bite your shit and just say ..,oh well.

somewhere, beyond the sea...

dad is watching the finding nemo DVD i bought him for his birthday. didn't know if he was gonna like it... but hey..what can i say, it's a good movie. in my other livejournal thingy, i had mentioned something about passing legacies. but i forgot to type about how we'd raise our kids...
me and some of the guys were having a discussion of how we'd do it. would we be all stern, would we be chill,... how WOULD we bring the pain?... hahahh... well, of course we could never really tell until it happens... but we just thought it interesting. one of us, said they'd be just like their dad as much as he hated it. he thought the discipline he received was what was necessary. we laughed and joked about the times when we had to do the whole "this is gonna hurt me more that it'll hurt you" thing. then another one of us said they'd love their kids so much and be all chill... but when the shit goes down ...they better be ready ... i think i like that approach. because they KNOW they fuct up when they made a chill pop like you get all mad ... me personally,...i just hope i do well.